Considering the fact that I have had my heart broken 3 times … 3 intense and strong times, you would think I should be done with love. But I’m not. Nowhere near done.
Actually I think I believe in love more now than I ever have before.
I tear up when any of the people in my life meet their long-haul person. I am the one jumping up and down for joy and soaking up every word of their story! It inspires me to no end.
Two weeks ago, I was in the presence of two people falling in love. Right before my eyes these two were seeing each other as if for the first time and yet as if they’ve known each other for many life times.
It was literally one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed.
And as I sat there, my eyes filling up and my heart melting, I realized I do believe, with every fiber of my being.
I do know that there is nothing sweeter than connecting with another individual in such a deep, profound, vulnerable, intimate way.
Yet it’s not for the faint of heart. That’s for damn sure. It takes work. It isn’t just love that keeps a relationship going. It is a concerted effort to keep it alive and fresh and connected and powerful.
Just today I had a conversation with a friend about this very thing. Her story blows me away ever single time.
She loved her husband the moment she laid eyes on him, yet their path to this moment was a challenge filled one.
It was not a fairytale in that they met and got together and lived happily ever after. There was a lot of struggle and strife and time apart. There were hardships that they encountered separately before the relationship could even begin. But because of that they take their relationship so seriously.
Even though they have kids and full-time jobs and friends and life, they make sure to give the utmost attention and care to their relationship.
They know that their worlds cannot revolve around their children because one day their kids will grow up and leave to live their own lives.
They know that they need to stay connected and loving each other day in and day out.
I see the same thing with my own best friend. Her and her husband make it a point to communicate their love and appreciation and gratitude for the other. They know that if they do not have that quality time, their relationship will suffer.
No wonder so many couples grow distant. It is because they are not committed to staying connected.
Thank the stars above I have such a present example of a wonderful, healthy, thriving relationship because, to be completely honest, growing up I had barely any!
No wonder I used to tell myself I am never getting married. Said that from when I was 12 and I still say it to this day.
It’s not that I don’t believe it’s possible or that I am incapable, but it’s hard to buy in to it fully when you hear about divorce rates climbing. Or when you see people giving up on their relationships so early on. Or when you see people still in them but are not putting in the work that they need to do to make it fulfilling and successful, so as a result are miserable.
Of course we are going to be jaded! I was jaded for most of my youth.
It took a lot for me to get to a place of believing that romantic relationships actually can work. That it’s more than just getting into one because you think you need to or have to, but because you want to and it feeds you, fulfills you.
What is different for me now is that I refuse to buy into convention. I know what works for me may not work for you. It is up to each couple (or triple or quadruple) to find the relationship dynamic that is best suited for them. I don’t need a piece of paper to prove legitimacy or level of commitment.
More and more I see relationships designed in cool, unique and unconventional ways and it gives me hope. Hope that love does exist and relationships can work.
I’ve had glimpses in my own previous relationships and I am holding on to that. For whatever reason those did not last … whether it was not the right time or the right person or the right set of circumstances, the relationships ended but I learned a whole hell of a lot.
I came away even clearer as to what I do want, in addition to what I don’t want. The beauty of autopsies.
So am I holding my breath for my next relationship? No. Because the grass is always greener.
I don’t believe in wistfully waiting for one day.
When I’m single, I’m single and I enjoy the fuck out of it. And when I am in a relationship, I’m in a relationship and I give it my all.
I do know that my long-haul person is out there. And that when I see him I will know. And I will be ready to give my all yet again … heart, mind, body and soul.
Old Fashioned? Yes. Hopeless? Never!
So here’s to love.
To the amazing, life altering, heart expanding, soul transforming kind of love.
Photo Credit: Flickr/LOLren
P.S. I want to work with you. Yes, you! Whether it is a tarot reading, or a coaching session, I can help you feel clear, confident and ready to take on the world in life or love … so let’s get this show on the road! Can’t wait to hear from you soon!!